4.5.12 - tiny

new Lives
fresh beginnings
renewed Hope
Spring has come

4.4.12 - someone who makes me happy

these hands which 
~ toiled in fields as a "farm boy"
~ tinkered with planes as a "fly boy"
~ fixed engines as a "grease monkey"
~ cared for children as a "father"
~ tended my pony as a "grandfather"
~ played games as a "great grandfather"
~ folds, refolds napkins as a "dementia patient"

4.3.12 - mail

coffee & creamer, by the pound,
fuel him on his rounds

to deliver each letter across town
or package from the world around

midweek circulars weigh him down
yet he greets with a smile, nevera frown

4.2.12 - colour

crystal kaleidoscope colours
dancing diamond doorway
myriad memories meld
prancing prismatic patinas

4.1.12 - my reflection

                      foolish

seeking something in the fleeting glimpses of
                     reflections
of selves passing through, being passed by,
                     time past
seeing someone in the shimmering glances of
                     reflecting
on leaving lovers, in last dances,
                     chances lost

~ the sense of us ~

i have seen the Majesty in your eyes
          and you have witnessed the Spark in mine

i have heard the aria of your Bliss
          and you have listened to mine

i have tasted the sweet nectar of your Joy
          and you have savoured mine

i have felt the fleeting bird of your Happiness
          and you have held mine

i have inhaled your heady fragrance of Together
          and you have breathed in mine

i have known the pure Peace of your Love
          and you have shared mine

~ siren serenade ~

from her watery depth
she climbs out
onto the flat stones
along the shore

in the warm oranges
of the setting sun
she shakes the saltwater
out of her long hair

with high notes
quietly she begins
her song of loneliness
fills the air

below the horizon
sinks the sun
night colours deepen
around her sorrow

stars flicker into view
her tune fades away
slipping between the waves
she is gone

truly scary clowns

~ Nude ~

looking o'er the valley, with a sigh
Winter crunches 'neath my feet
darkness and light, a perfect marriage
clouds of breath hang in the air

encased tree limbs against a stark sky
brilliant drifts lay tidy, neat
as i walk among ice fring'd foliage
beauty of Nature laid bare

"borrowing" our "allowance"

winging it thru the blues

Bad words in the Bible & Pagans

~ song of the storm ~

sunlight shifts into shadow

drip drip drip didadida

pitran patran, patak, plop plop

spruhen, small, slow 

darkness drowns out dusk

kahp-kahp keeps cadence

zaazaa zaazaa sings us to slumber

delightful dancing downpour

prasseln passes to pladdern  

be not lost

soft, your dawn smile celebrated our possibilities


happily reposing in the colourful whispers of sunshine
believing, knowing, faith; alleviated my broken comfort


your hands danced as magic wishes upon fire
velvet dream, liquid ferocity sang through me


breezes in my heart remember an eternity of wonder

found

 found

how mellifluous our brilliant Souls

breathing deeply of Morning's last star

ever mindful in the new blaze of Spring

joyous laughter accompanies our dance of Hope

tending to the flowering Dream of going Home

as i remember the delight of a Peaceful Heart

the essential Wonder before the tickle of a first blush 

such ecstatic warmth between our Thoughts as they bloom

embracing the whisper beneath the Trust of Belief

sharing, tasting the wine Magically full of Love

wildly shining Together in the moment Life is on fire

as wishes, smilingly merge into the True, Free Light

I was mistaken, wonderfully mistaken

such a little thing, timing, what came 1st & why : )

so small a detail, a thing, yet I want to shout from the rooftops, call people, let my heart sing.

instead i will just smile, just feel lighter, just know what i know : )

and move slowly, cautiously, joyfully

day after

i wrote him, and sent it. he replied, "excellent discussion," glad i was well, sent an article which made him think of me, period. i responded with a question, a link to a recipe i had cooked, he had liked. he answered, glad again we were well, details of his veggie consumption included in re my q.

i won't reply every day. i'll keep it light, friendly, polite. and i'll write my truth in my other journal, the letters i have written to him almost daily.

my hermitage was going so well. one friend's needs keep me from total isolation. damn her, thank the gods for her. if i don't reach out, no one else does. i could fall off the face of the earth & no one would know for months. seriously.

i keep my room orderly, my days busy with knitting & crocheting and reading & writing, but all private. i dropped off the radar after being involved and no one noticed there either really. meh

heading off to different pastures...

the moving truck has been reserved. half of the logistics are arranged. the days are short until I leave this County...

in the past 12 years, since arriving here, I have left three other times and returned. This comforts me, this IS where I return, regardless. yes, my son's father is here & that is a {legal} reason I will return, but in truth, other than my own "hometown" in Virginia, I can't see us returning "home" anywhere else but here, as long as we get to go back home to either our coastal towns or to the suburbs of my dreams.

my words are wandering, my thoughts clipped & my writing either minced or too rambly

i need focus, again, and soon

1/12/2012 part 2

and then I did the i-Ching in regards to my relationship
I asked "are we moving back to each other?" and and

 45 "Coming Together"
 Thursday, January 12th, 2012 2:15pm PST
 Your Present Hexagram

The power of gathering together is represented by a rally, where the strength of a couple is magnified by the power of their community of extended family and friends. This hexagram may be pointing to an auspicious time for large undertakings. But the guiding force of your shared vision is essential to hold the forces of unity together, and keep them advancing toward common goals and values. Another image for this situation is that of a lake filling with water. Just as the fullness of the lake can bring good fortune to all in its sphere, it can also overflow, leading to calamity. Thus in a time of gathering together, it is essential that precautions against excesses be considered along with efforts to advance along a clearly-charted course. Much of relationship misfortune comes from unexpected events for which we have not prepared; when partnered with others, we are both more powerful and, in some ways, also more vulnerable. Any time of unified coming together is a time of great potential. But the potential can be both positive and negative. Everything is magnified when people unite around a central shared purpose. When a couple unites behind a single goal or strong vision, it is wise to take personal precautions to protect your own highest self-interests, because these can too easily be lost.

First good news from the Universe in a while..I am hopeful again.

1/12/2012

just did the i-ching in regards to a job happening this week, before the next week

24 returning...

There is a turning point that recharges you and eventually brings success. This hexagram is associated with a turning back of long nights towards more light, the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, the seasonal change when our hours of daily light begin to increase again.

This is the beginning of a turnaround; a time of letting go of the old and making way for the new; a time of new beginnings. Ironically, it all starts with rest.

Don't move too fast. The new momentum is just beginning; the turn-around demands that your energy be recharged by adequate rest, so that your life force will not be spent prematurely.

This principle of hibernation, of allowing energy to renew itself and be strengthened by rest applies to many situations — recuperation after an illness, the slow return of trust after period of estrangement, the careful development of new relationships after a splitting apart of old ones.